Etiket: commitment

Mercury is in Retrograde, he said.

When I sent him hopeful songs, and he, depressive ones after our final break up, he reminded me that the mercury is in retrograde, so we shall not get back together.

Cause it would break us again.

I knew it better than him. It was me in the first place that taught him about the planets’ and the stars’ influence on human behaviour. Back then, he used to grin at me and tease me endlessly.

He said the same old words, everyone else had said before:

”How could you, Pi, a neuroscientist at mind and heart, can believe in Astrology? ..”

I did try to tell him why… All my reasons.

The constant conjunction of the behaviours of each zodiac sign. The statistics I have held with everyone I knew. Worked out most of the time.

I did my best to show him the beauty of the zodiac.

After him, I never tried to make anyone believe in it.

It took so much time and effort.

And now, whenever someone expresses disbelief, I change the subject-

To things they believe in: Like fashion and religions.

Anyhow,

When he put the fact of the Retrograde in my face,

I tried my best to make him let go of his orthodox belief in the planets!

I told him that we used to break up in retrogrades but not unite.

I was not really sure if I was totally honest.

I only wanted to have his long phone calls again,

Calls only,

As I was in London and he in Istanbul.

Long story short,

He was right.

The retrograde struck us again…

As it did hundreds of times before…

Only after a few days of talking to each other again,

A young girl knelt down to where I was lying on the grass in a park,

nicked my phone, and walked away….

Then we lost contact, he did not email me more than twice.

He was too lazy for emails or online meetings on a computer.

He let me go,

Once again.

…

He was right,

The mercury retrograde took him away once again.

What would have happened if the mercury had never moved back?

Would he have stayed?

Would he have committed?

Would he have been loy… no.

He was meant to be this way…

-π

Love Lessons from Prairie Voles: What Rodents Can Teach Us About Commitment

The prairie vole is a well-known animal, especially in the scientific community, for its fascinating mating and monogamous behavior. Researchers have long been captivated by this small rodent, studying what makes its rare commitment to lifelong partnerships so intriguing. I fully understand that a well-educated neuroscientist might not learn much from this paper. Even I knew about prairie voles around 10 years ago… Considering that I was still a teenager with a developing prefrontal cortex, it shows that this information is widely popular—it’s not (only) that I was particularly wise back then.

Ah, the lovely prairie voles… I’ve always been very fond of them. I once had a dream where I told someone about my concerns for a rodent in distress. Not a cat or a dog, like literally everyone these days!

Today, as a devoted researcher of mating behavior, I was rereading the world-renowned research article on, well… yes, prairie voles.

Published in Nature back in 2006, when I was still a little girl playing with Barbies, Edwards and Self were researching why only a small number of animals are strictly monogamous. It’s monogamy or the highway, as they say!

https://www.nature.com/articles/nn0106-7

They found that different amounts of neurotransmitters, and thus their receptors (which go together like love and marriage), were at play.

For the curious non-neuroscientists: there’s a tiny, addictive area in our brains called the “nucleus accumbens,” which is highly associated with excitement and pleasure.

It’s the endpoint for dopamine, sent from another reward center called the VTA, and it generates motivation—motivation to pursue a partner, 🦑

find good food, 🍄

study neuroscience, 🧠

or even learn the R programming language for better statistical analysis.

Surprising as it may be, I’m spending all my motivational output from my beloved mesolimbic pathway on things that aren’t rose petals, porcini risottos, or lovers serenading from beneath my balcony. Of course, R and neuroscience are definitely worth the sacrifice of my youthful, romantic days!

But let’s get back to the real stars—those adorable prairie voles!

They should be role models for all men (and some women, though less frequently) who put a ring on someone and yet court others with a heartbeat.

From what humanity’s flaky commitment trends have taught us, trusting a man to stay loyal can be… tricky.

Meanwhile, these sweet little munchkins remain like fairy tale dreams, rarely coming true (p-value 0.000000000001 and effect size Cohen’s d being 0.000000000001).

In non-statistical terms (since I am no statistician and shall not speak like one), finding a man with the loyalty of a prairie vole is like finding a 500-carat pink diamond on the pavement—possible, but not very likely!

Male prairie voles have more D1 and D2 (dopamine) receptors in their nucleus accumbens. Specifically, they have more D1 receptors, which inhibit them from cheating—or, in more polite terms, from approaching a stranger female—once they’ve bonded to a beautiful female vole via their D2 receptors.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2994774/

Long critique short:

Get your human males checked for their dopamine-related genes (DRD4, COMT, and DAT1) to learn their genetic predisposition for cheating, a.k.a. wandering off with other women while you could be raising their child.

https://www.genexdiagnostics.com/promiscuity-gene-drd4-test

And lastly, I forgot to mention: male prairie voles bond for life, which is why they are the sweetest rodents—sweeter than chipmunks and capybaras!

Long live prairie voles, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health!

Neuroscientist & Neuropsychologist Pinar S.