Varlığı zehir,

Yokluğu şiir oldu.

Varlığında esir,

Yokluğunda şair oldum.

Ben onu yaşıyorum içimde, 

Ondan haber alıyorum sakince,

İçime dönerek sadece

Biliyorum o şimdi nerede… 

Ben onu büyütüyorum içimde. 

Onla konuşmaksızın, sessizce

Elimi bile koymadan kalbime 

Biliyorum o şimdi bir tek bende.

Ben onu koruyorum her yerde.

O yutarken sözlerini kelimelerce

”Göster gücünü” diyerek sevdiğime

Biliyorum bir gün söyleyebilecek

Hem gökte hem de yerde…

İnsanlar bile bile sigara içer,

Yetmedi ot içer

Bazısı hap atar

Yetmez damardan verir uyuşturucuyu.

Herkes bir şekilde zehirler kendini.

Öyle ya da böyle.

Yediğiyle, içtiğiyle ya da bir başka şeyle…

Ben de sevdiğimle zehirliyorum kendimi.

Diğer zehirler kesmiyor işte beni.

Ancak sevdanın acımtırak tadıyla,

Hiç pıhtılaşmayan o kan hücreleri.

Ve her seferinde aynı acıyla ciyaklayan

Sonra can havliyle bu yaradan kaçan

Ve kesen o bıçağa benzin mum gibi dönüp

Tekrar tekrar kapanmış yaralı kanatan,

İşte tam da bu sevdayla zehirliyorum ben kendimi.

Ondan akan zehri kana kana içtikçe,

Panzehir üretiyorum belki git gide.

Oysa bu panzehri baştan aşağı şaşırtacak

Yeni bir zehir lazım şimdi bize.

Should we live for the eternal ‘’ataraxia’’ (emotional tranquility)? Do we seek unending happiness? Do we enjoy happiness only at the moment that we are experiencing it, or do we enjoy remembering those fruitful moments? It is biologically possible to enjoy both. But the question is not which one we enjoy more or less, but for which do we struggle for? If we’re in pursuit of a package of enthusiastic memories, then we first have to create a moment that will be remembered with a smile on our faces. If it is the memory, or the moment, in any case we should be seeking to create that moment. However, it is still not the answer to my question. I am not interested in the function nor the structure, since both of them can be understood via reading about the functions of several neurotransmitters and hippocampus. A neuroscientist is capable of explaining, how one can feel elevated even after that specific moment by reliving it in the mind palace. Because when we taste the same food that we tasted during that moment, or smell a similar scent, or listen to the same music we will remember the location, the temperature, the person we were with and most importantly our feelings that belonged to that moment way back.  Even if we are conducting an experiment, or speaking in front of the public, what we remember is, usually our feelings. The consequences are not tied to our means at this point. We feel the heartbreak, anguish, anxiety, tremor of giving a speech, but almost never the same sentences we have spoken. The syntax can be deformed but the essence of the feelings stay almost exactly the same. When I recall the time I made a presentation about plant-based diet in German language to German people, I feel the excitement and the over-confidence I had again. I remember when I made them laugh , I remember feeling threatened I felt when a guy challenged me on a case concerning white sugar and bovine gelatin. Although, my speech was conveyed mostly by my prefrontal cortex, when reminiscence takes over, I remember amygdala-related outcomes. Hence, if we live for the joy of learning, the result is not different from a person enjoying a falafel, or sunbathing in Bahama’s. If the same amount of neurochemicals are involved, the joy would not differ between a philosopher, a scientist or an ignorant person enjoying their moment. 
If we live for the reminiscence, the actions do not matter when the threshold of the action-potential is crossed.  But if we were given eternal time for living those ‘’splendid’’ moments, would it be felt as dense as we feel them after re-thinking? Remembering strengthens the moment and renders it plausible to stay effective. Without remembering the experience, does experience matter? Does learning occur? If we are amnesic, and cannot strengthen our good moments, would it be as magical as the remembered moments? These are truly difficult questions to be answered, but after all I am more inclined to think that our moments are signified after they are remembered and relived in the mind.  So we might say that, we are not only seeking the joyful moment, but we take it for granted that we will remember it at least once more. Without being able to remember the moment, what is the significance of having that experience? Perhaps, I just cannot refute the importance of living an extraordinary moment, and developing amnesia, or dying afterwards. Extraordinary moments would count either way, remembered or not, nevertheless the emotion is definitely intensified during and after reminiscence. Let me rephrase it, if memory did not exist, the magical moment would last till the end of the moment. But never to re-experienced, which denotes to its temporary nature. If animals did not possess a hippocampus for storing information, they would have to pursue limitless joy, or the maximum joy that was possible. Pain and gloom would be unbearable, since there would be no good experiences to be remembered that could alleviate the pain. Life would be either fully dark or fully bright. Being able remember good old times would remind the person that the pain is temporary, because of many memories that were formed before implies that there will be more. After each night, the sun has been up. Being aware of this uniformity of the nature suffices, for a person to hope for a better moment. If entorhinal cortex did not exist, a life that is not utopian would be miserable. Memory of moments, memory of natural events, hence memory of feelings render life bearable. Thus, we live for the permanence which is not in the moment, but the reminiscences of the moment afterwards.