Hamburg Journals I

I know I have been staying away from writing down, as long as I could. ‘Cause most of the ideas on my mind were unutterable- apart from to that one person. That man, who knows me for ages, and accepts me the way I am. Literally, no judgement whatsoever for most things, if not all. He only rarely wags me his index finger when it comes to my non-strategic and thus unplanned behaviour that might end up in huge losses. He warns me about my impulsivity. I know he’s right- he’s been right all along since I knew him. Sometimes this freaks me out- mostly when I wish him to say ‘’yes, this would work’’ but he instead says ‘the probability of this thing/relationship working out is only one percent, if I am optimistic.’’ That gets to me! I want him to be more, you know, in the favour of my desires! Haha… But he cannot ever forget about real life cases and the god damn probabilities. Anyways, this is not about him, yet all things about me, keeps going back to him. He might be the Prophet of my religion. He is to be kept, forever, if you are lucky enough to have him in your life. I am going back to what I wanted to ‘’write’’ about.

I do not utter any of my ideas, to even my journals, because they are socially and logically unacceptable…. Though this man, he listens, brings up ideas, and shows ways out. He has been my shelter for the half of the year, as he’s been before. But more so, now, cause remember, the things I am going through are unutterable. I dare not share with you! You all would judge me to hell. And, I don’t care about your judgements but I have no desire to share my energy resources explaining my reasons or ‘’un’’reasons to live what I am living.

Maybe all I needed was to come back to Hamburg, to finally pour all these down. Down through my fingers. As much as I could utter…

Now I am back home. This is home for me. More so than Istanbul. Maybe even more than London? Cannot judge properly, but this is zuhause without any hesitation.

But of course I haven’t lived here for years long without any back and forth. Cause everyone knows, I never stay somewhere for more than 3 months… It is undoable for me. I am made to travel…

Residents of Hamburg also have complaints, mostly the migrants, due to racism and maybe the loneliness the culture brings. But for me it is attractive, as I am bored from the chaos of Istanbul. Here you have more time for yourself, for all the things one can do alone, unlike in Istanbul where you have no time for an optimum sleep!

Being back to writing, as I have plenty of more time in here, and things feel more utterable or tbh, less unutterable, let me utter those.

I have learned to manage my anxiety much better as I have been waiting for someone that could never come. I have been Waiting for Godot and that waiting had to teach me that I have to stop all the negative thought patterns, if not I could need anxiolytics and sunk in depression. I learned to manage those emotion bursts. It has honestly been a must for me, not that I decided to work more on my personal growth. If I have not developed this new skill, I could have been fully dysfunctional and no more the productive Pi, I have always been.

So here I am, back in where I learned the first teachings of Human Brain and Psychology. First ever times where I felt totally free and used that freedom to read more and enjoy all the good things in life!

Hamburg, I feel welcome here. Maybe for a week or a month or a year- but I will always come back to you.

The Moral Damage of Science and Arts: Reflections on Human Nature, Competition, and Corruption

Science and arts, often celebrated as pillars of progress, are not exempt from critical scrutiny. While their contributions to knowledge, creativity, and societal advancement are undeniable, their impact on human morality and nature requires closer examination. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, a profound critic of civilisation’s excesses, argued that science and arts, rather than elevating human morality, have often led to its corruption. This critique resonates with Thomas Hobbes’s view of human nature as inherently competitive and self-serving. For a painter like me, these reflections are vital as they unveil the complex interplay between creativity, ambition, and morality. This essay explores the moral damage inflicted by science and arts on human nature, connecting Hobbes’s insights with Rousseau’s critique and analysing how civilization fosters competition, envy, and alienation.

Rousseau’s Critique of Civilisation and Arts

Rousseau’s seminal work, Discourse on the Sciences and Arts, underscores how the advancement of knowledge and artistic expression has led to the degeneration of human morality. Rousseau contended that humanity’s original state of innocence—a time characterized by simple, authentic living—was corrupted as societies developed artificial values through scientific and artistic pursuits. According to Rousseau:

“Everything is good as it comes from the hands of the Creator; everything degenerates in the hands of man.”

This degeneration manifests as a loss of authenticity, with individuals driven by pride (amour-propre), vanity, and a desire to appear superior to others. The arts, instead of fostering virtue, have become tools for display, fostering competition, envy, and moral decay. Science, with its emphasis on material advancement, alienates individuals from their natural selves, creating a culture obsessed with external recognition rather than internal contentment.

Hobbes and Rousseau: Diverging Views on Human Nature

Hobbes famously argued in Leviathan that humans are inherently selfish and competitive, driven by a constant struggle for power and survival. In the natural state, Hobbes described life as “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” However, Rousseau’s vision diverged; he viewed the natural state as one of purity and simplicity, free from the corrupting influences of civilisation. Yet, there is a compelling intersection in their philosophies: the depiction of humanity’s moral corruption in a social context.

For Hobbes, the competitive nature of humans is innate, whereas Rousseau argued that this competitiveness arises from societal constructs. In civilised societies, the pursuit of science and arts exacerbates these tendencies. Rousseau’s concept of amour-propre highlights how individuals’ desire for recognition fuels envy, rivalry, and alienation—traits that Hobbes would recognize as intrinsic but which Rousseau attributes to civilisation’s distortion of natural instincts.

The Role of Science and Arts in Moral Corruption

Science and arts, as Rousseau argues, have become tools for self-aggrandizement rather than instruments of virtue. The rise of artificial needs, coupled with the desire to surpass others, fosters an environment of relentless competition. As Rousseau noted, the development of private property, a cornerstone of civilisation, introduced inequality and envy, laying the foundation for moral corruption:

“The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying ‘This is mine,’ and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society.”

In the same way, the cultivation of the arts and sciences serves to erect barriers between individuals, fueling pride and superficiality. This degeneration can be seen in modern society, where technological advancements often widen social divides and artistic expressions are commodified, catering to ego and vanity rather than the common good.

Competition, Envy, and Alienation

Rousseau’s analysis of amour-propre reveals the dangers of societal constructs that encourage comparison and competition. As people measure their worth against others, they become enslaved to external validation. This phenomenon mirrors Hobbes’s view of perpetual conflict among humans driven by a desire for power and security.

The arts, as a painter’s domain, provide a poignant example. While artistic creation has the potential to connect with universal truths, it is often subverted by market forces and the artist’s desire for recognition. The competitive nature of the art world mirrors Rousseau’s critique of civilisation: artists, rather than creating for the sake of expression, frequently find themselves vying for prestige and financial success. This struggle fosters envy and alienation, as artists distance themselves from their original, authentic motivations.

Rousseau’s Vision of Redemption

Despite his criticism, Rousseau did not view the degeneration of humanity as irreversible. He proposed a return to simplicity and authenticity through moral and political reform. In The Social Contract, Rousseau argued for a society grounded in collective will, where individuals prioritise the common good over personal gain. This vision, while idealistic, offers a blueprint for overcoming the moral corruption induced by science and arts.

For artists, this redemption lies in reconnecting with the true essence of creativity. Art should transcend superficiality, becoming a medium for introspection and shared human experience. As a painter, I strive to reflect these ideals in my work, seeking to evoke genuine emotion and universal truth rather than catering to fleeting trends or societal expectations.

Conclusion

The interplay between science, arts, and morality reveals a complex tapestry of human nature, ambition, and societal constructs. Rousseau’s critique of the moral damage caused by science and arts challenges us to reconsider their role in our lives. When pursued without restraint or ethical grounding, these endeavours can foster competition, envy, and alienation, distancing humanity from its natural state and core values. By examining these themes through the lens of Hobbes and Rousseau, we uncover timeless truths about the human condition and the need for a balance between progress and authenticity. For painters and creators, the challenge lies in resisting the pull of superficiality and embracing art as a means of truth and connection, offering a counterpoint to the moral corrosion of modern civilisation.