Losing hope in humanity day by day…
And I don’t think it should be what I learn everyday- to lose more hope- as I was the Polyanna ever?!
I am already a great skeptic, and people just affirm my skepticism. That I should keep being a skeptic because believing in humanity does not help!
What happened was I could not reach my grandpa in London for a few days. 5 days no contact. His birthday was 2 days ago. His phone is off. I ask the concierge if they have seen him lately—the last sighting was 3 days ago.
It worries me. Knowing his routines, I know that, on a regular basis, he is not a person to stay at home for a few days. He shops every day, literally every day. Fresh salads and fruits for him!
And suddenly 3 days with no library visits and no food shopping?
It did not sound right to me. I got worried on the 3rd night of his silence.
Emails and phone calls are of no help.
I either have to fly to London and knock on his door
or send a friend over to his place.
I was dead worried in all ways.
From him being seriously sick,
to
being no more a l i v e….
I ask the porters to buzz his bell everyday a few times.
No response.
My heartbeat accelerates every time they tell me he is not at home.
BUT HE DOES NOT STAY ANYWHERE ELSE APART FROM OXFORD REWLEY HOUSE ONCE A YEAR—AND I KNOW WHEN HE DEPARTS…
He cannot be away!
He should be in! Or wait…
Is he in the hospital? Did something urgent happen and he OBVIOUSLY WENT without telling anyone because he is such A PROUD MAN!
He would not ask anyone for a favour even if he is famished or athirst.
He will only die because of pride. Not of cancer, no! Not of any flu! Nor bronchitis!
JUST PRIDE!
My mind is a great wanderer. He might be at the hospital, in pain. Without no one- not me by his side… or home, not able to move, in pain, in cramps, in all those negative states, and hungry—because he can’t cook when sick or out of food already—because remember, he buys only enough food for a day! (I find it absurd, but he rationalises it for making it up for his exercise needs- if he had enough food, he would just laze off!) TBH, nah… He wouldn’t. He is the most geminish person I ever knew. He can’t sit still for more than 3 hours—and that is counting the LIBRARY!! He will definitely leave home for the daily paper! Who could say no to Sudokus and crosswords, after all?
LONG STORY SHORT—HE WOULD NOT STAY HOME FOR 72 HRS!
SOMETHING IS OFFFFFFF!!!……
Very off indeed.
My heart is stopping and then beating faster than ever.
My blood is rushing to my face due to my inability to RUN TO HIM! RUN TO HIS FLAT!
SEE HIM WITH MY BARE EYES.
Leave my state of mind alone now.
I ask porters to buzz. One of them is very stubborn. He keeps saying he is busy- yet his business is what? opening the entrance door? Delivering the parcels once a day? sitting on his chair? Watching YouTube?
Man! stop being so selfish. Your busy state is only 5 minutes if I’m being generous. And that is already more than enough.
Just using the lift, walking 20 steps there and back wont cause you harm!
But I swallow all of my anger! And my anger, you know… IS HUGE….
I just see how small he is from his talks. He says he is busy… showing me his empty desk…
I swallow my words. I swallow the truth.
I have to stay calm—just till I know he is okay.
He hardly spends 2 minutes to knock on his door. And I literally am squashing him.
He is fed up with my grandpa’s silence or overall moodiness due to old age.
He does not understand the generational difference.
He does not get how older people are different from us!
He is mean.
He buzzes the ring, and tell me next time I cannot reach him; he does not care! I should call the real estate agency!
SCUSA MI?!!!!
PARDONNE MOI?
He is responsible for 50 flats, and it is hard work to check on an old resident spending a few minutes a day. Even if it happens every day (which is not the case), it is nothing!
I am literalllllyyyyy begging him to find out if he is okay, alive, and healthy!
He is doing nearly everything to say no, but I keep pushing.
I am tired of pushing the concierge and my friends to go and look for him.
Seriously.
Why does not anyone just run up for an hour and see him? Is that too difficult to spare an hour?
To look for an old guy—which both of my friends know in person in good memories—is that too hard?
I am in huge pain, and they just list excuses.
I am away now, more jobs to do. I have theater in the evening! Can you not call someone else? , did you call the concierge? , did they knock? Did they bla bla? Is there bla bla? questions, questions till there are no more.
LOOK—THERE IS AN EMERGENCY.
JUST MOVE YOUR BODY, AND GO AND SEE HIM.
NO MORE EXCUSES.
I ask him if he can bring flu medication and basic food like bread and bananas in case he is sick and he is out of food. He goes, finds out my grandpa is sick, and does not even go in the flat to make him a tea, a soup, or anything at all! leaves in a minute, then calls me saying he is okay just sick!
I ask if he left him anything—he replies, “No, I asked him, and he said, ‘No need!'”
WOULD HE SAY YESSSS PLEASE?
HE IS THE PERSON MADE OUT OF HALF CURIOSITY AND HALF PRIDE
He would not tell his mum that he is starving if his mum came back!
That is who he is.
And generally, do we not feel a little embarrassed to ask for a favour from people?
And the fear of the rejection or the fear of their inner thoughts?
Scary.
I can understand why he is full of pride.
I ask my friend—sorry, PUSH MY FRIEND—to actually shop for him for at least one OTC flu medication and basic food items. He stays silent for a while, and then he has some humanity somewhere; though very tottery, he dares not say no.
Does it?
All this chaos, my 2 days of pushing people to see him, was exhausting.
Not physically. Not even mentally.
But spiritually.
Why do I have to push the concierge that works in the residence to see a resident if he is still alive?
Or why should I force a friend that literally talks to me every other day, or another friend who asks me to help out with his medical issues?
When I ask for an hour of their time, excuses are running down like a torrent.
I am disappointed in humanity.
Workers do not even want to do extra job such as checking on someone, out of HUMANITY.
Friends do not want to waste their time to see an old person, even though it is their friend’s precious.
let alone all that, would not anyone be worried about an old person being seriously sick in their flat even if they did not know him?
Do we need further reasons, like a good friend’s grandpa or a friend’s friend?
ABSOLUTELY NO.
HUMANS, YOU SHOULD SEEK YOUR CONSCIENCE AND KEEP IT LOCKED IF FOUND!
I despise all of you…
Gündem / Agenda 