When we first met, he was a virgin. He told me this with a deep sense of embarrassment in his voice: “I’d understand if you didn’t want to date me, as I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”

I found this appealing. Why should he be embarrassed about being untouched, entirely pure, and all the more promising for a lasting bond? Now, nearly four years on, I see why he was so embarrassed. With those words, he meant that he could not commit to the first woman he fell in love with, as he needed to explore different kinds of women – one who spends a fortune on shopping, one who doesn’t love him as their other half, one who floods social media with endless selfies, one who parties and gets drunk, one who bamboozles, and one who is NOT ME.

Back then, I was innocent enough not to see this when he “confessed” his inexperience to me so shyly. He seemed certain I would leave him over it. Honestly, if I were to meet him now, or anyone else inexperienced or still a virgin, I’d leave immediately. But only after all the hard lessons – the foreshadowing of infidelity.

With my innocent mind at the time, I thought that was it: I’d found the purest man, aged 28, untainted by the touch of other women, in heart and body. He was clean, meant only for me. I felt exhilarated rather than wary when I learned he was untouched. And that was the beginning of all the heartache and tears that would follow in the years to come…